When am walking along the corridors of the University with a difference, Moi University, I rejoice expectantly with hope. My smiles broaden more when I meet a young woman, expectant and walking confidently. Some feeling of gratitude overwhelm my being. Am left with a longing to just commend them for their confidence, for their determination. Then I remember, a few months down the road, a few steps, a few days they shall receive their bundle of joy.
A single encounter with one each day leaves me rejoicing, with the understanding of what level of zeal has brought them this far. Having faced numerous challenges, numerous disappointments, uncountable morning sicknesses. Oh dear, God bless you for swallowing your little pride for that young life. For purposing to mult-task all around. Studies, motherhood, at a young age. It shall pay.
I do not know the circumstances surrounding your pregnancy. I don’t even know the kind of memories it brings. I do not know, what pressure you are going through right now. Especially now that cats are flowing one after another. Exams are just a week a way. You are worried about what your baby boy/girl shall eat, drink, dress or even lay on. You are worried about the state of things in the delivery room. You are worried that things could unfold unexpectedly. It is your first baby and you don’t know what labour is like. You are worried that your parents or guardians shall not be there, to hold your hand and just tell you it shall be okey. To just tell you that they still care for you. The worry that you do not know what your baby’s father is thinking about, whether they think of you or not. Whether they even feel guilty that they abandoned you.
Darling, hold on. Hold on for the future of the joy you carry. Hold on to the promising tomorrow of the fruit of your womb.
I say this because I have been there. Neglected yet loved. Abandoned yet assured. Angry and vengeful yet forgiving. Sad yet rejoicing.I know how it must feel to have this kind of conversion:
Rita; Joe, hey?
Joe; (two days later) Sema- yeah, tell me
Rita; (tears) what do you want now? It has been five Months now, you are not even concerned that I was ill and hospitalized. Where is the love that you sang all along? Am at the clinic today, baby isn’t fine. Could you at least see us?
Joe; am bust at work. I’ll talk to you later.( And he won’t call or talk to you later.)
I know how crushing it must be. How heartbreaking. How thoughts of taking revenge could take you through.
Not all instances are unsupported though. There are those supportive. They will calm you and tell you that you’ll be fine. He will bring you fruits and you’ll throw up hardly a minute before they are swallowed. He’ll be angry yes, because he is not pregnant. He doesn’t know that you didn’t intend to. He will be mad because he thinks you are an insensitive woman, because he does not have a job. He doesn’t know how it will be like once the baby is born. There are countless experiences.
I’ll take you through my own experience. I hope it will encourage you, to hold on, to withhold those tears when emotions overwhelm. The crown of it all is, you shall be glad that you held on.